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Furkids?

Ok, we've been pretty freaking busy moving this month so there's really been no time to post, but I saw this in my email this morning from The Word Spy and really HAD to say something… furkid n. A pet treated as though it were one's child. Also: fur-kid, fur kid. Example Citation: My name is Brenda Mejia and I'm owned by two Australian cattle dogs. I don't have kids, so I call my dogs my 'furkids.' They keep me as busy as a soccer mom. —Brenda Mejia, "Pet stories," The Desert Sun (Palm Springs, CA), April 30, 2004 All I have to say is that if ANYONE ever catches me referring to our cats as "furkids" you have my express permission to smack me in the face and tell me to snap out of it. "Furkids". Give me a break.

Van Helsing… ouch!

Ok, so I got on the Entertainment Weekly email list for their weekly box-office survey. They send out an email on Sunday or Monday, asking for your opinion on any of the week's recent releases. I, of course, got on this list just in time for me to stop going to movies nearly as often as I usually do (we've been KINDA BUSY, you know!?). SO I haven't had many chances to respond to their surveys. Well, I got one this week asking if I'd seen Troy or any of the other releases and I realized I hadn't gotten their email in a couple of weeks. Which meant that I'd missed my chance to weigh in on the utter wreck that was Van Helsing (a friend of mine described it as "craptastic". I can't think of a better word for it.) The biggest problem with this disaster is the simple fact that it tries too hard to be a videogame. No big surprise, Sommers & Co. worked hand-in-hand with the development team at Vivendi to make sure the game accurately reflected...

mmm… New Templates!

I've been bored with the templates Blogger offered in their last round of updates almost from day one, but I've just been too lazy (or too challenged by the thought of actually getting in and coding HTML) to do anything about it. So I'm really enjoying digging through all the new templates they're offering in this latest update to the service. There's also some cool stuff like a new "comments" option (I'm boing to be brave and enable those now… Quentin's going to have a field day with that one!) and profiles and such. I've got way too much fun stuff to play around with now. Now, if I can just get back to posting! (We're in the middle of buying a house and moving. I'm going to milk that excuse for all it's worth. I'll be posting again next month. No, really. I've got way too much to mouth off about to not be posting!)

Star Wars Prequels

The thing about movie channels like HBO and Showtime is that, when they buy the rights to show a movie, they buy the rights to show it A LOT. So, unless it's "prime time", you're apt to run into the same selection of movies pretty regularly. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Mr. Deeds (yes, they even show the bad ones a lot!). And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. If I'm just looking for something to have on in the background while I'm doing something else, a movie I've seen dozens of times is an easy choice, since I don't have to pay attention to follow it (and the movie channels are well aware of this behavior among their subscribers). So this morning I was killing a little time and looking for something on TV to do the killing and I switched on Attack of the Clones . And what strikes me watching one of the early scenes isn't how bad the movie is (we all know that, while it's marginally better than Phantom Menace, it still...

Rumsfeld falls on his sword…

Ok, I know I've bitched about this before and I'm aware that most of the country doesn't seem to either care or notice, but isn't ANYBODY else tired of our "no fault" President? From embarrasing international misstep to gigantic cluster-fuck, whenever anything blows up in the Bush Administration's collective face, there's always someone stepping forward to take the blame and say they left the President out of the loop, forgot to mention it to him, didn't make it clear to him… whatever they need to say to make sure we all understand it wasn't George W. Bush's fault that we all look like gigantic a-holes to the rest of the world. This time it's Rumsfeld's turn , since he apparently didn't think it important enough to mention to the President that they were investigating reports of American soldiers abusing Iraqi prisoners. Which really begs the question of what the hell ARE they telling GW about these days? Pardon me for as...

Troy?

Ok, I KNOW Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom and Eric Bana (how the hell did he get on this list, anyway?) are the real draw in Troy, but how much of a freaking unknown/nonentity of an actress must you be to play Helen of Troy (you know, "the face that launched a thousand ships") and not even get a MENTION on any of the billboards? Of course, I just looked at her "resume" on the Troy site and see that she's a former photo model from Paris who had her first role sometime last year. She's gotten a Ceasar nomination for one of the films she's done and she's got a few more coming this year. So maybe it's just that the marketing guys figure no one in the US would know or care who she is till they've seen the film. But still… not even a mention on the billboards. That's gotta hurt!

Brilliant!

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. Bertrand Russell, philosopher, mathematician and author (1872-1970) (Thanks to Wordsmith.org's " A.Word.A.Day " for this particular observation.)

Ah, summer movies…

I saw an article a couple of weeks ago talking about how the traditional "summer movie season" keeps creeping earlier into the year. Traditionally, summer movie season—that time of year when style triumphs over substance and incidental things like coherent plots and meaningful subject matter give way to explosions, effects and bad comedy—starts Memorial Day weekend. But in the past few years these big, bad action films have escaped their cage and started showing up before the summer season's truly here. So after not making it to a single movie in months (I'm not kidding, either—the last movie I saw in a theatre was Along Came Polly !) we finally got out to the movies a couple of weeks ago. And what was our great choice for getting back to the movies? Freaking Hellboy . Understand, I wasn't terribly interested in the movie to begin with. I've never read the comic and there just wasn't anything there that hooked me. I like Ron Perlman and think i...

Convertibles

I bought a new Mustang Convertible last month (40th Anniversary in black, of course) and have probably driven with the top up maybe a half-dozen times since I bought the car. Let's face it, it's Southern California. If there were ever a place to drive a convertible, this is it. And what I've noticed in my 6 or 7 weeks of driving my new convertible is how many losers there are out there driving convertibles with the top up! I mean, what's the point of having this cool car if you're not putting the top down every chance you get? (I'll admit that I might take things a little to the extreme here… if the temperatures over 60 and it's not immediately threatening rain, the top's probably down.) But this morning, as I'm driving to work, it's a BEAUTIFUL day—7:30 in the morning, it's already over 70 degrees, crystal clear and you can't even notice the smog at this point. And STILL I pass 3 different people, driving their convertibles with ...

Really, what are they thinking?

One of those inane "slice of life" commercials was just on with a guy rambling on about sitting in his big overstuffed chair with his son and how it's "just what he needed to be doing" right about then… holding his son, cuddling him, "sniffing his head". This was immediately followed by the commercial's message: " Jockey , What's in Your Comfort Zone". Doesn't anyone pay attention to these things? Hasn't anyone ever heard of the idea of juxtaposition ? I mean, come on, dad sniffing his son's hair immediately followed by the image of jockey shorts? Pay attention people. Really.

Nursery Rhyme Puns?!?

One of the good things about the KROQ Kevin & Bean morning show is their derisive appreciation for crap television shows. Basically, they watch the bad stuff so I don't get subjected to it. Last Sunday, the highest rated TV show among 18-49 year olds was The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour . Right off the top, I can't stand these two. Jessica Simpson is a brainless, self-centered pop princess and Nick Lachey is the has-been boy-band doormat of a husband to this vacuous blond, so I've got no time for either one of them. It stands to reason then, that I skipped this waste of time of a TV show. And I cannot tell you HOW glad I am that I did. KROQ's morning team couldn't fall over themselves fast enough to mock and abuse this show and, judging from the clips they played… DAMN, did it deserve the mockery! First off, there's the "heart of the 70's" guest star list (Mr. T? Johnny Bench? Kenny Rogers, Kermit the Frog & Miss Piggy?!?) Ne...

Fun with words…

I've got a couple of "word of the day" email newsletters coming to me and, when I got back from vacation last week, found some really fun ones, that I just feel I have to share… resistentialism The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior against us. (This one's from Wordsmith.Org's A Word A Day email list) God knows I've felt like this often enough! There are days I'm sure my computer hates me and stoplights are always waiting till I approach to turn yellow. Spinach Cinema Movies that are not very exciting or interesting, but that one feels one must see because they are educational or otherwise uplifting. (This one is from The Word Spy 's mailing list—They are "devoted to lexpionage, the sleuthing of new words and phrases." A fun site, with great words and phrases popping up all the time.) Really, how many examples of Spinach Cinema have you seen hitting critics lists each year? I know, I know, I'm...

Arnie's Making Friends…

Schwarzenegger Wants Part-Time Legislature Arnold says, "Spending so much time in Sacramento, without anything to do, then out of that comes strange bills." Predictably, Legislator's aren't impressed with his thoughts on the matter: ""While I'm out here working ... he's pontificating from Hawaii?" Senate President Pro Tem John Burton, D-San Francisco, said from Sacramento." Now, amusing as this whole debate COULD be, what really struck me about the article is this comment (apparently the headline from another article) that sneaked into the copy: "Trump beats chicken in casino game". Not sure what Donald Trump beating a chicken has to do with the California legislature's schedule, but it struck me as amusing. I have to look for laughs wherever I can find them now, I guess.

Would this REALLY be considered winning?

I mean, I've seen the trailers and posters and, while The Whole Nine Yards is one of my guilty-pleasure films, I've gotta say that The Whole TEN Yards (see how witty they are in that title?) just looks like a stinker. So I've got to wonder, would winning anything here really be considered "winning"? Win 'The Whole Ten Yards' Movie Prizes I'm just asking, you know? And let me just ask, could Bruce Willis look worse in those posters? He's got the neck of an eighty year old! (God, back to blogging after a week's vacation and THIS is the best I can do? Damn!)

Damn, he's probably right…

From today's Word-Spy mailing list: "In the end, language changes because of the people who use it, not by appealing to any external factor, like spelling or history. People criticizing "NOO-kyuh-luhr" should also condemn "CUMF-ter-bull," yet they don't. Merriam-Webster's form letter about "nuclear" spends only two sentences discussing the word itself: most of the letter is an explanation of why spelling is not a valid basis for determining pronunciation. …In other words, "NOO-kyuh-luhr" is a lost cause, and no amount of pleading on the grounds of technical context or historical novelty can expunge its use." — Jesse Sheidlower , American lexicographer, The New York Times, October 13, 2002 And I really liked bitching about that one, too! (Not that I'm going to let the Pres off the hook for it… I'll just have to acknowledge that I'm simply whining to hear myself whine.)

Oh, Brave New World?

I've always liked Demolition Man in one of those guilty-pleasure, "this movie thinks it's a lot smarter than it really is" kind of ways. I like the way they play with names and ideas (to some extent) from Brave New World (The main character in the book is John the Savage, here it's John Spartan , who's often referred to as "Savage"; and Lenina Huxley who's name merges a character from the book with the Author's name). It's been a LONG time since I've actually read BNW, so I'm not sure how much deeper the movie's homage really runs, but it's still fun. I also like Stallone, who's pretty charming and amusing when he doesn't take himself too seriously. (Note that this is not the same as thinking he can do comedy. He's shown just how adept he isn't at that often enough). And, let's face it, Sandra Bullock is always fun to watch—even in some of the turkey's she's been doing lately. The most fun in ...

So when DID the Puritans end up back in charge?

Was it simply 4 years of Bush’s born-again presidency? A Clinton-Lewinsky reaction? Newt’s cynical “Contract with America”? Twelve years of “compassionate conservatism” under the Alzheimer Kid and GW Sr.? Or have they simply been there all along and we’ve all been lulled into some mistaken belief that we’re becoming a more mature and open-minded society? ‘Cause this whole ‘clamp-down on the media’ thing by the FCC & Congress has gotten WAY out of hand! In the wake of the SuperBowl fiasco, the FCC is falling all over themselves trying to appease the knee-jerk conservatives out there that are convinced that the country's going to hell in a handbasket because there was a flash of nudity. Their first reaction was to change the fines from $27,500 per incident to $275,000 per incident. This was enough to scare the big conglomerates that own most of the national media in this country to start backpedaling and pulling content off the air for fear of being fined. Now Congress is ...

Zombies Rule!

Ok, so there's a delicious irony to the fact that the remake of Dawn of the Dead bumps The Passion of the Christ from the top spot in this weekend's box office. I've got to think that even Mel Gibson can appreciate that one! And, since we're speaking of movies—and I haven't been to a movie in weeks, damnit!—it looks like I'd better rush out this week and catch Eternal Sunshine if I'm going to see it in the theatre, since it just barely made the #6 slot for the weekend. Sure, it's on half the screens that Dawn of the Dead opened on, but still… that kind of opening can't bode well for it's theatrical release longevity. Thinking about Eternal Sunshine—talk about reinforcing bad behavior! Jim Carrey does wacky over-the-top comedy hi-jinks in Bruce Almighty… big hit! Jim Carrey does subtly whacked-out Charlie Kauffman script—one that might actually entail some, I don't know, ACTING!—surprise! Can't even break the top 5 for the weeke...

Want to make your head hurt?

Have a look at the quotes here: Fish. Barrel. Boom. By William Rivers Pitt t r u t h o u t | Perspective Those of you fed up with my consistent harping on politics will probably want to skip it. The rest of you, as you read these, might want to keep in mind that these are the same people who are (in all likelihood—let's face it, I'm not going to track down all their comments) falling over themselves to attack John Kerry's inadvertent "they're all a pack of liars" quote. (As if any Democrat in 2004 doesn't look at the Republican "win at all costs" election machine and think the same thing.) Welcome to the 21st century conservative mindset. Be afraid. Be very afraid.