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Nursery Rhyme Puns?!?

One of the good things about the KROQ Kevin & Bean morning show is their derisive appreciation for crap television shows. Basically, they watch the bad stuff so I don't get subjected to it.

Last Sunday, the highest rated TV show among 18-49 year olds was The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour. Right off the top, I can't stand these two. Jessica Simpson is a brainless, self-centered pop princess and Nick Lachey is the has-been boy-band doormat of a husband to this vacuous blond, so I've got no time for either one of them. It stands to reason then, that I skipped this waste of time of a TV show.

And I cannot tell you HOW glad I am that I did. KROQ's morning team couldn't fall over themselves fast enough to mock and abuse this show and, judging from the clips they played… DAMN, did it deserve the mockery!

First off, there's the "heart of the 70's" guest star list (Mr. T? Johnny Bench? Kenny Rogers, Kermit the Frog & Miss Piggy?!?) News flash guys, this isn't a "throwback to the days of Sonny & Cher"—this IS the Sonny & Cher show! Then there's inane bits like Nick singing a duet with his "hero"… KITT, the car from Knight Rider. (Best thing about this bit is they didn't even get William Daniels to do the duet… since, obviously, you wouldn't want a Broadway musical star to be singing on your musical variety show. I know, Daniels probably didn't want anything to do with the stunt—it's still amusing.)

But the real clincher is this stellar bit of comedy they inflicted on the audience:
Lachey's in a dog costume, looking to get a loan. When the loan officer, a Miss Patty Whack, asks for some collateral for his loan, he gives her some cheesy little tchotchke piece, which leaves her stumped. She calls over the bank manager (played by Jessica, of course) to ask what she's supposed to do with this thing. Jessica (acting her heart out, of course) replies (wait for it!) "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack! Give the dog a loan!"

Understand, I've told this joke in the past merely to annoy my friends who can't stand puns. I can honestly say I NEVER expected to actually see it used in a major network television show! (Disturbingly, a Google search for "it's a knickknack" brings up COUNTLESS links to this joke in it's "original" form where it's a frog looking for the loan, not a dog. "Creative license" I suppose.)

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