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So I guess the Academy really DOESN'T like Marty

Sunday night's Academy Awards were entertaining enough, without being particularly surprising. Pretty much in keeping with the relatively safe list of nominees, the closest I came to being surprised was watching Scorcese lose again… and by the time that happened, it really wasn't a surprise anymore and seemed kind of inevitable. I was pleased to see both Sideways & Eternal Sunshine nab their screenplay nominations (and it's about time Charlie Kaufman won for one of his stories!). And I was equally glad to see The Incredibles take best animated feature. Much as I enjoyed Shrek 2 , Incredibles was just the better film. And the less said about Shark Tale , the better (imho, of course). Like I said, by the end of the night, I wasn't that surprised to see Million Dollar Baby take it over The Aviator , nor Clint win over Marty. Let's face it, he won the DGA award this year. That just didn't bode well for Scorcese's chances. Just before the show, I'd ...

The "art" of bad videogame movies

There've been a LOT of bad videogame-based movies. In fact, one can make the argument that they've all been pretty bad. I mean, even the one's I've enjoyed (the Resident Evil films, for instance) aren't exactly what one would call high art. But lately, one guy seems to have cornered the market on bad when it comes to the videogame movie. I first stumbled across Uwe Boll's name in conjunction with the movie House of the Dead , when I found a trailer to the film on the latest release (at the time) of the videogame franchise. The trailer included there was so spectacularly bad that I immediately rejected any chance that I'd see the movie. Judging from what I heard at the time of it's release (and from its spectacular 4% ranking at Rotten Tomatoes ), I think I made the right choice in avoiding this one. This year we got "treated" to Alone in the Dark , yet another videogame dragged kicking & screaming to the nearest multiplex. This one didn...

We're all going to hell

Ok, so I'm as guilty of succumbing to reality TV as the next person. I've watched at least part of every season of Survivor . Dani and I watched both seasons of Temptation Island (oh my god, they did a third season?!?) and we almost got suckered into watching The Apprentice last season. The glut of dating and relationship shows has, fortunately, made nary a dent on our collective viewing (the obvious exception the previously mentioned Temptation Island) and I've got no time for crap like Fear Factor and others of its ilk. But a while ago I was at my mother-in-law's house without a book when Dani and her mom decided to go shopping. Not seeing any real reason to subject myself to a day of shopping, I decided to just hang out at the house and watch TV or something. So I'm channel surfing, and I come across an episode of a some show called Maximum Exposure . Maximum Exposure (or "MAX X" as they apparently like to refer to themselves) is one of those video-c...

Frankly, the news sucks

Apparently teaching about the Constitution , Bill of Rights and concepts such as Freedom of Speech aren't really a priority these days. First Amendment No Big Deal, Students Say U.S. students say press freedoms go too far We're far too concerned that the kids pass those "competency" tests than to make sure they understand the rights and privileges that supposedly make this country so great. Next time you sit there wondering how the hell the people running this country can warn you to watch what you say or how you think in "times like these", you can understand how they get away with it a little better. Meanwhile, THIS bozo has no problem with free speech: General Counseled Over 'Fun to Shoot' Talk I'm actually kind of torn over this one. On the one hand, we've got this clown mouthing off about how fun it is to shoot people and all he gets is "counseled to watch his language in the future". On the other han...

Ah, rewards season!

I've already dissed The People's Choice Awards . And I've ignored The Golden Globes (The self aggrandizement of the HFPA simply annoys me, so I don't generally bother.) But now we've got the Oscars ! Academy Award time is here. And I may no longer live in LA (and my Sunday paper no longer has the Calendar section on top) but damnit, I look forward to the Academy Awards! It's funny, but this year's list of nominees doesn't have anything that leaps out at me as particularly surprising. The closest you might get is seeing Sideways nominated up there with the big guns like The Aviator , Ray , Million Dollar Baby & Finding Neverland , but with all the press it's gotten (and yes, the Golden Globe for Best Comedy) it's hardly surprising. (It is, however, a well deserved nomination.) The Incredibles , sadly (but as expected), got relegated to the "Best Animated Feature" ghetto, but really, which of those five Best Picture nomin...

From the US Dept. of the Glaringly Obvious…

New U.S. Dietary Guidelines: Eat Less, Exercise More Honestly, can there be any other reaction than "well, duh!"? Here's what may be the best line form the article, however: Ann M . Veneman, secretary of the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA): "The new guidelines have additional science incorporated, but many of the recommendations are not significantly different than what's been recommended in the past. This was the first time we used an evidence-based approach to reviewing research." As opposed to the "throw the research at the wall and pick which one sticks" approach, I assume. Brilliant. No, I mean it. Positively brilliant.

So let the mocking begin…

Being acknowledged action movie junkies, all the bad reviews in the world apparently couldn't keep Dani & me away from Elektra this weekend. (NO, that's NOT why you should be mocking!) Yes, I read the New York Times review . And Entertainment Weekly's D+ review . AND saw the 7% rating at RottenTomatoes.com . In fact, the CNN review seems to be the only one that I've seen that didn't hate the film. But the funny thing is, lowered expectations aside, we came out of there having enjoyed the movie. (Yes, Q, THIS is where you're supposed to start mocking). Now, I'm not making any great claims about the movie. God knows, it's no Lord of the Rings or even Spiderman (keeping it all "within the genre" so to speak), but after a summer full of crap like Van Helsing or The Day After Tomorrow , this didn't seem all that bad. As so many critics pointed out, it didn't bring anything new to the comic book movie genre. But it was a hel...

What are they thinking?

Back to blogging, and the first thing I do is complain about something? (Guess that shouldn't really come as a surprise, huh?) So I'm reading this month's Premiere magazine and it's their 2005 Movie Preview issue. There are, of course, several movies I'm looking forward to seeing… Batman Begins (DESPITE the boring batmobile and because it's about time they revisit the bat and rinse the taste of Batman & Robin from our mouths), Episode III ('cause I'm a sucker for punishment, I guess), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (hey, the last one was REALLY good!), Fantastic Four (I'm detecting a theme here), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (ok, so I'm a sucker for the fantastic!) and this week's Elektra . And, up until I read the preview, I was looking forward to The Legend of Zorro . After all, what's not to like? I thought The Mask of Zorro was great fun, it's got Antonio Banderas & Catherine Zeta-Jones and the ...

Ah, vacation…

What a wonderful thing! And all my good intentions went straight out the window. I was going to catch up on email, do a little blogging, do a little writing… just be productive in general. And did I? Hell no! I've still got email accounts full of unread messages, I haven't blogged anything since before Christmas (despite the fact that I've got a half-dozen posts I started and never finished) and let's not even get STARTED on actually writing anything. Here it is, nearly the middle of January, I've been back to work for over a week, and this is the first time I've actually gotten around to posting anything. Vacations are great.

People's Choice Awards?

"Huh?" might be the best reaction here. I've always wondered who the hell votes for the People's Choice awards. Presumably, it's a public thing, but I never knew how the voting was done. I just knew that they were usually abysmal choices, with the most obvious—and ofttimes least deserving—nominees winning. Turns out, according to this story , that up until this year, the awards were run by the Gallup organization. No wonder I've never been in on the voting… I've never been contacted for a Gallup poll on anything. This year, however, Entertainment Weekly has taken over the show (assuring us that the People's Choice will remain firmly ensconced in the safe zone of pop culture, I'm sure). And they've got their list of nominees here . I'm not entirely sure how they determine their categories, nor why there's a category for "Favorite Movie" if there's a category for "Favorite Movie Drama" and "Favorit...

Mark Twain ROCKS!

God, what an inane lead-in. Twain's probably spinning in his grave over this kind of crap. Or not… more likely he'd be cynically unsurprised by it all, judging from his later writings. Well, the reason Twain rocks (notice how it's not nearly as "effective" if you don't put it in 'all caps', like you're shouting it?) is the quote from today's A.W.A.D. email : Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. —Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910) More Twain here: BrainyQoute.com Bartelby.com Because he ROCKS! ;-> (god, then I go and add a smiley! I'm going to have to work on my blogging, if this is what I'm reduced to.)

Spoiler Alert!

Ok, I figured I'd just get that out of the way, right off the bat. If you haven't seen Dodgeball and are interested in watching it and, perhaps more importantly, enjoying the end of it… don't read any more. Can't say I didn't warn you. I'm a sucker for the extras on DVDs… blooper reels, deleted scenes, alternate endings… I love to see what "might have been". So getting all three on the Dodgeball DVD was like hitting paydirt. (You'll also want to check out the featurettes for some great slapstick as well.) But the "alternate ending" option on this one was a little different than most. The director's commentary explains that this is the original ending that they'd shot, that he, Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn thought it was the perfect ending and it was only after test audiences balked at it and the studio demanded changes that they went back and reshot the ending. Usually I side with the director/actor side of things ...

And who didn't see THIS one coming?

Nativity Scene Attacked in London Because, obviously, God teaches us to attack and destroy that which differs from our religious convictions. Funny, I think I missed that in my catechism classes. (This is, of course, a follow-up to " I REALLY thought they were kidding ". So, still not kidding, and now they're getting vandalized for it.)

Tell me again… how is this going to work?

God cut from Dark Materials film "The director and screenwriter of the film adaptation of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials is to remove references to God and the church in the movie." According to Weitz, New Line expressed concern over the topics. Here's the problem… "The books tell of a battle against the church and a fight to overthrow God." So if we take God, and the Church, out of the story for fear we'll offend someone, can someone please tell me WHAT THE HELL IS LEFT!?! This reminds me of Exit to Eden , where someone obviously bought the rights to the book because Anne Rice was a hot property at the time and didn't realize it was a bondage novel. They ended up getting Garry Marshall to direct and turned it into a "wacky" spy comedy. But at least they kept SOME aspects of the sex storyline. For the record, it was still a god-awful movie. (Oops. I said "god"—twice now, AND didn't capitalize it! Someone som...

In the "People are Dumb" category…

High School Teacher Facing Child Porn Charges He was found out when he brought his computer in for repair and the shop found child porn on the computer. Communion Wafer Shuts Down Prison Someone put a communion wafer inside the envelope with their job application—looking for a little divine aid, perhaps? People REALLY don't think, do they?

We're hopeless

Third of Americans Say Evidence Has Supported Darwin's Evolution Theory Sadly, I have no comment but to shake my head in sorrowful disbelief (or some such over-the-top expression of my incredulity.)