A couple of weeks ago, thanks to an article in Entertainment Weekly defending Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, I went back and watched the film again and realized that, no matter how much the article wanted to argue that Temple was a better film than most people give it credit for, I still thought it was a mediocre film in general, and a bad Indiana Jones film.
The problems with Temple of Doom can be summed up simply enough: Short Round, and slapstick. (One must also point out that Kate Capshaw's one-note — i.e. a high pitched squeal — performance didn't help.) I've already ranted about why adding smart-ass kids to action adventure films are NOT the cinematic version of "you got chocolate in my peanut butter" (two great tastes that taste great together, if you somehow don't get the reference). So I won't belabor the point any further here.
The other problem (the slapstick issue) became clear to me as I watched Temple of Doom and its painfully drawn out Chinese night club scene, interminable trek through the jungle, and the seeming never-ending mine car scene (to name just a few). I kept thinking that 'there's a lot going on here that's supposed to make me laugh, and yet isn't.' At first, I thought it was all about the length of these scenes. But more and more it just became apparent that they were simply trying too hard with what little they had to work with.
So as the end credits rolled, I chucked it all up to "yep, Temple of Doom sucks" and moved on. (I suppose I must give credit to Speilberg and Lucas for trying something much darker than might have been expected with this sequel — as the EW article argues — but the daring, darker themes simply failed to outweigh the leaden fluff elsewhere.)
Then we saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull this weekend. And I realized that the real problem is that Stephen Spielberg really likes slapstick. And that he really sucks at it.
This became apparent during an early chase scene involving Russians, a motorcycle and the college library (among other locales), a scene that rivals any of the aforementioned Temple of Doom travesties in both length and lack of amusement factor. It's obvious that Spielberg (and Lucas, presumably) were looking for some wacky hijinks to ensue, and they worked really hard to put all those wacky moments in the chase. But those moments never really seemed to be all that wacky, or entertaining or, frankly, funny.
Suddenly, I understood why, for all these years, Temple of Doom has been such a disappointment. And somehow, that made this mediocre scene so much less important to my overall enjoyment of Kingdom.
Because, fortunately, aside from the above mentioned motorcycle chase, I did have fun with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Sure, the chases often ran too long, but that complaint could have been leveled at each of the films (with the possible exception of Raiders). I liked the personal story that they dealt with this time around, and found Ford to be well able to keep up his end of the Indiana Jones act, with Shia LaBeouf an excellent choice to carry on the Jones name. (Karen Allen hasn't been working a lot recently… we'll just assume she's out of practice.) I liked the mystery that they were investigating and didn't find it any more outlandish or hard to believe than the Lost Ark of the Covenant, ancient Thugee sacrificial rites or the Holy Grail. (Some of the plot contortions they had to go through to GET the the mystery are better left undiscussed.)
So yes, I had fun. And enjoyed the movie far more than Dani did. Of course, I'd heard several people calling into KROQ before the weekend, talking about how much the movie sucked, so it may be that I went in with somewhat lowered expectations than I otherwise might have. Maybe there's something to be said for lowered expectations.
Some of that similarity can be considered homage, I suppose. That 'wacky' motorcycle chase calls back to a similar Jones Jr/Sr motorcycle escape in Last Crusade, but doesn't mirror the actions of that earlier chase, so it probably falls in that category. There are many moments like this, where you can remember the reference from earlier films, but the beats and rhythms make it it's own moment here.
A more egregious example of rehashing moments from older Indiana Jones films would have to be that interminable jungle chase scene, reminiscent in many ways to a similar chase in Last Crusade. This time it's in a jungle instead of the desert, and it's Russian's in half-tracks instead of Nazi's in tanks. And to bring it all full circle, we get a call back to Raiders, as they're racing along a mountain road, fighting off the Russian's attempts to push them over the sheer cliff at the edge of the road.
Then of course, (minor spoiler alert here) there's the demise of the traitor who's destroyed by his own greed, a moment very similar to the death of the beautiful Nazi doctor at the end of Last Crusade.
Ultimately none of this was enough to make me hate the movie, and I'd have to say that it ranks a distant third to Raiders and Last Crusade. But at least it's no Temple of Doom.
The problems with Temple of Doom can be summed up simply enough: Short Round, and slapstick. (One must also point out that Kate Capshaw's one-note — i.e. a high pitched squeal — performance didn't help.) I've already ranted about why adding smart-ass kids to action adventure films are NOT the cinematic version of "you got chocolate in my peanut butter" (two great tastes that taste great together, if you somehow don't get the reference). So I won't belabor the point any further here.
The other problem (the slapstick issue) became clear to me as I watched Temple of Doom and its painfully drawn out Chinese night club scene, interminable trek through the jungle, and the seeming never-ending mine car scene (to name just a few). I kept thinking that 'there's a lot going on here that's supposed to make me laugh, and yet isn't.' At first, I thought it was all about the length of these scenes. But more and more it just became apparent that they were simply trying too hard with what little they had to work with.
So as the end credits rolled, I chucked it all up to "yep, Temple of Doom sucks" and moved on. (I suppose I must give credit to Speilberg and Lucas for trying something much darker than might have been expected with this sequel — as the EW article argues — but the daring, darker themes simply failed to outweigh the leaden fluff elsewhere.)
Then we saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull this weekend. And I realized that the real problem is that Stephen Spielberg really likes slapstick. And that he really sucks at it.
This became apparent during an early chase scene involving Russians, a motorcycle and the college library (among other locales), a scene that rivals any of the aforementioned Temple of Doom travesties in both length and lack of amusement factor. It's obvious that Spielberg (and Lucas, presumably) were looking for some wacky hijinks to ensue, and they worked really hard to put all those wacky moments in the chase. But those moments never really seemed to be all that wacky, or entertaining or, frankly, funny.
Suddenly, I understood why, for all these years, Temple of Doom has been such a disappointment. And somehow, that made this mediocre scene so much less important to my overall enjoyment of Kingdom.
Because, fortunately, aside from the above mentioned motorcycle chase, I did have fun with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Sure, the chases often ran too long, but that complaint could have been leveled at each of the films (with the possible exception of Raiders). I liked the personal story that they dealt with this time around, and found Ford to be well able to keep up his end of the Indiana Jones act, with Shia LaBeouf an excellent choice to carry on the Jones name. (Karen Allen hasn't been working a lot recently… we'll just assume she's out of practice.) I liked the mystery that they were investigating and didn't find it any more outlandish or hard to believe than the Lost Ark of the Covenant, ancient Thugee sacrificial rites or the Holy Grail. (Some of the plot contortions they had to go through to GET the the mystery are better left undiscussed.)
So yes, I had fun. And enjoyed the movie far more than Dani did. Of course, I'd heard several people calling into KROQ before the weekend, talking about how much the movie sucked, so it may be that I went in with somewhat lowered expectations than I otherwise might have. Maybe there's something to be said for lowered expectations.
Tuesday, May 27th
So as the weekend wraps, I realize that there's still one nagging issue about Kingdom that I haven't addressed… that 'been there, done that' feeling. And, as I get farther from the movie, the more it's obviously something I can't really ignore.Some of that similarity can be considered homage, I suppose. That 'wacky' motorcycle chase calls back to a similar Jones Jr/Sr motorcycle escape in Last Crusade, but doesn't mirror the actions of that earlier chase, so it probably falls in that category. There are many moments like this, where you can remember the reference from earlier films, but the beats and rhythms make it it's own moment here.
A more egregious example of rehashing moments from older Indiana Jones films would have to be that interminable jungle chase scene, reminiscent in many ways to a similar chase in Last Crusade. This time it's in a jungle instead of the desert, and it's Russian's in half-tracks instead of Nazi's in tanks. And to bring it all full circle, we get a call back to Raiders, as they're racing along a mountain road, fighting off the Russian's attempts to push them over the sheer cliff at the edge of the road.
Then of course, (minor spoiler alert here) there's the demise of the traitor who's destroyed by his own greed, a moment very similar to the death of the beautiful Nazi doctor at the end of Last Crusade.
Ultimately none of this was enough to make me hate the movie, and I'd have to say that it ranks a distant third to Raiders and Last Crusade. But at least it's no Temple of Doom.
Comments
You don't like Spielbergian slapstick, but you like "Last Crusade"? Hands down, the WORST Indy film made. Uhhhh...retract that, because I also just saw Crystal Skull and it is BY FAR the worst Indy film made. It's on par with the Star Wars sequels and has a whole lot of Lucas suck going on in it (CGI monkey swinging, surviving nuclear blasts, psionic mumbo-jumbo, ALIENS!!, chariots of the gods, transforming flying saucer bullshit, etc, etc).
In fact, I would rank ALL of those things that made Crystal Skull suck as worse than kid sidekicks.
You nailed the two things that blow about Temple of Doom - Capshaw (Spielberg was boning her, so no surprise), and Short-Round (lame Goonies crap). But, the mine cart sequence? Brilliant, classic Indy. In fact, it is originally in the Raiders script as penned by Kasdan. It is great.
As is the motorcycle chase at Yale in Crystal Skull. In fact, I'd argue it is the ONE sequence in the movie that works. It has no CGI, has an old Saturday serial feel, and is fun. I can't believe you didn't like it. It is also the one scene NOT directed by Spielberg. It was done after filming ended by the second unit. That's why it's the best scene in the movie! So much for your theory on Spielbergian slapstick.
Raiders is far and away the best. Temple of Doom is second best only because the other movies suck beyond suckability.
I really TRIED this last time. It's been ages since I've watched Temple and I tried coming in with an open mind, but it seemed even worse than I remember. I used to like the Chinese Nightclub scene (I heard that was in the original Raiders script as well), but this time it just seemed overly long and trying too hard for the funny. The mine car scene has always seemed too long to me, and always seemed like it was an ad for the new "Indiana Jones Mine Car Ride! Coming to a Theme Park near you soon!" It has its moments, but like the movie itself, they're few and far between.
Last Crusade always seemed like it fit more with Raiders, like it was a legitimate sequel, and Temple just a bad dream. I will admit, I think I have a tendency to go for character over story a lot of times, so the fact that I liked Sean Connery's Jones Sr, and of course liked Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones just made it that much easier to enjoy the movie. Is it as good as Raiders? Hell no. But I've always found it more fun than Temple.
As for Kingdom… like I said, there's something to be said for lowered expectations. I didn't have any trouble with the aliens/ancient astronauts theme. Again, as I've already said, it didn't seem any more outlandish than anything else Indy's experienced in the past. (Hell, Dani and I played with story ideas for a new Indiana Jones film years ago, when we first heard they were seriously talking about doing it, and came up with a story remarkably similar to this one — Russian villains, a psychic mystery, a long-lost unknown progeny. It's not like it's a stretch to come up with all that once you drop Indy into the 50's and age him, but I was amused to find we'd hit the same ideas as Lucas & Spielberg. The only thing missing was the aliens, and since it's Spielberg, I guess that was inevitable.)
The motorcycle scene may not have been CGI, but I'll argue the "it was fun" point. It may not have been directed by Spielberg, but it suffered from the same kind of ham-handed attempts at humor as those moments that pained me in Temple. (Maybe they're all Lucas moments, and the directors are just doing the best with what they were handed. Lucas may be a great myth-maker, but his storytelling has been falling flat for years now. And he's never had a deft hand at comedy.)
Other things are nowhere near as forgivable, as you point out. The nuclear blast bit was pointless and stupid, the CGI rope swinging equally annoying (and while we're mocking CGI, let's not forget Shia's 'straddle the jeeps so he can get smacked in the nuts' sequence). There's a boatload of crap in this film, when you really start to look at it and, as I keep discussing it and finding things that bugged me, I'm sure that, on my inevitable second viewing (probably on DVD sometime this holiday season), I'll probably end up thumbs down on the whole thing.
But I still don't think it's as bad as Temple.