Ok, this is sad, I know…
Dani’s sister Tisza & her fiancé Mel are getting married next week. Shortly after deciding to get married, they called and asked if I’d be willing to get ordained so I could perform the ceremony for them. (For those of you wondering, this isn’t the sad part—just the backstory.)
Being a confirmed agnostic (with strong pagan inclinations) I was a bit hesitant to go that route. Not that I actually believe the ground would open up and swallow me whole for impersonating a cleric, but could you think of a worst time to be proven wrong? So I said I’d be glad to officiate, if we could find some way that didn’t involve me logging onto the Church of Universal Life website and getting ordained in 3 minutes flat.
Turns out that the State of California has been dealing with these requests for a long time, and all I have to do is get deputized to perform the ceremony. I’ll be a legal Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriage for one day (and one day only) and able to perform their wedding, as long as I follow all the correct routines and make sure all the “t’s” are crossed and “i's” dotted (and that there are no corrections on the License—that’s a BIG no-no!). In fact, since I'll be legal for the whole day, I can marry anyone that comes up to me with a valid marriage license. I have friends that have told me they're going to avoid me that day for that very reason.
So last week I went down to the courthouse and met Mel & Tisza there so they could watch the deputizing ceremony. The Court official takes the bunch of us that are getting sworn in that day and sits us down at a conference table to explain all the whys and wherefores and make sure we understand all the protocols that need to be followed for this to be a legal proceeding.
Then we stand and are sworn in. The gist of the oath is that we pledge to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and the Constitution of the State of California, etc., etc., etc. And, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, “wait a minute, this hasn’t got anything to do with marrying anyone!”
And then, right on top of that thought (and yes, if you’re wondering, THIS is the sad part), I caught myself thinking, “Gee, it’s too bad they didn’t think to have John Ashcroft swear something like that, ‘cause you’d think it’d be important for HIM to swear to protect the Constitution.”
No, I’m not kidding, and no, I’m not saying this for effect (cause, god knows, I wouldn’t pass up a chance to take a pot shot at Ashcroft). This actually ran through my mind in the middle of the swearing in ceremony. Yeah, I'm sad. I know.
Dani’s sister Tisza & her fiancé Mel are getting married next week. Shortly after deciding to get married, they called and asked if I’d be willing to get ordained so I could perform the ceremony for them. (For those of you wondering, this isn’t the sad part—just the backstory.)
Being a confirmed agnostic (with strong pagan inclinations) I was a bit hesitant to go that route. Not that I actually believe the ground would open up and swallow me whole for impersonating a cleric, but could you think of a worst time to be proven wrong? So I said I’d be glad to officiate, if we could find some way that didn’t involve me logging onto the Church of Universal Life website and getting ordained in 3 minutes flat.
Turns out that the State of California has been dealing with these requests for a long time, and all I have to do is get deputized to perform the ceremony. I’ll be a legal Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriage for one day (and one day only) and able to perform their wedding, as long as I follow all the correct routines and make sure all the “t’s” are crossed and “i's” dotted (and that there are no corrections on the License—that’s a BIG no-no!). In fact, since I'll be legal for the whole day, I can marry anyone that comes up to me with a valid marriage license. I have friends that have told me they're going to avoid me that day for that very reason.
So last week I went down to the courthouse and met Mel & Tisza there so they could watch the deputizing ceremony. The Court official takes the bunch of us that are getting sworn in that day and sits us down at a conference table to explain all the whys and wherefores and make sure we understand all the protocols that need to be followed for this to be a legal proceeding.
Then we stand and are sworn in. The gist of the oath is that we pledge to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and the Constitution of the State of California, etc., etc., etc. And, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, “wait a minute, this hasn’t got anything to do with marrying anyone!”
And then, right on top of that thought (and yes, if you’re wondering, THIS is the sad part), I caught myself thinking, “Gee, it’s too bad they didn’t think to have John Ashcroft swear something like that, ‘cause you’d think it’d be important for HIM to swear to protect the Constitution.”
No, I’m not kidding, and no, I’m not saying this for effect (cause, god knows, I wouldn’t pass up a chance to take a pot shot at Ashcroft). This actually ran through my mind in the middle of the swearing in ceremony. Yeah, I'm sad. I know.
Comments