I'm a sucker for Three Musketeers movies. It's one of my favorite books — I've read it numerous times, and have delved into several of the sequels (and yes, I knew the full list before looking it up. I own them all.)
By far my favorite film versions are the Richard Lester ones from the 80's: The Three Musketeers and The Four Musketeers. (Shot together, they were released one year apart.) Funny, a great cast, excellent swashbuckling/swordplay and, by far, the most accurate retelling of the book, it's the gold standard I measure all other Musketeer films against. (I do my best to ignore the egregious Return of the Musketeers… which, despite having the same director, main cast and screenwriter, is nearly unwatchable.)
Recent attempts at this story have not been particularly impressive.
There's what I like to refer to as the Classic Comics version from Disney, which starred Keifer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, Tim Curry, etc. This one wasn't terrible so much as it was... slight. The story had been dumbed down and simplified (hence my reference to the Classics Illustrated comics) and Tim Curry's cardinal was some maniacal villain bent on usurping the Crown. But aside from that it was at least amusing.
Then there was the intriguingly rethought "The Musketeer", which decided to forego the titular 3 in favor of a singular D'artagnan, and a lot of wire-fu action scenes. Probably the most amusing thing about this movie was watching the French musketeer battling Asian "swashbucklers". The least amusing part was probably the fact that, despite the focus on Asian inspired martial arts action scenes, said scenes weren't all that good, and the movie as a whole was pretty forgettable.
Digging through Netflix and IMDB, I also discovered these gems:
Ring of the Musketeers, which stars David Hasselhoff(!) as John Smith D'artagnan and Cheech Marin(!!!) as Burt Aramis; and 3 Musketeers, which brings the titular trio fully into the 21st century with the musketeers an elite NSA team and a female D'artagnan stuck in a desk job till she discovers a plot to… oh hell, I've already lost interest in the plot. Suffice it to say that, while there's a part of me that WANTS to see these train-wrecks, I'm hoping the saner part of my mind will prevail. (All things considered, I probably should mention this one as well. No comment, however.)
All of this, of course, is just my long-winded prequel to my thoughts and reactions to the latest attempt to re-invent the Musketeers for the modern era. (Yes, if you haven't seen the movie yet, and are concerned about keeping an open mind, this would be the time for a SPOILER ALERT… since I'm pretty certain I'm going to end up revealing plot twists and such.)
I greeted the announcement of another musketeers film with cautious enthusiasm.
I recognized the director's name from the Resident Evil films (of which I am among the apparently small number of people who've played, and enjoyed, the games and who also likes the movies). I've enjoyed his work in the past, I really like the cast and Mila Jojovich is easy on the eyes. And it's a Three Musketeers film. I'm in.
Then I saw the first trailers, and realized that this was going to be some kind of Steampunk Musketeers, what with all those airships and flamethrowers and such. So I'm going to brace myself for this one and venture into the movie with a relatively open mind.
This is a good thing, as it helps me accept the dumbing down of the plot. It came as no great surprise that this Richelieu was again looking to usurp the crown… apparently the movie-going public is just not bright enough to get the notion of someone wanting the power without the title, so they had to keep his motives simple. (It's funny, you'd think that, after eight years of Bush/Cheney/Rove we'd have an abundant understanding of that notion. But apparently I'm overestimating the national IQ. Considering the popularity of the Tea Party, "overestimating" might be putting it too mildly).
I was a little more surprised by the relationship between Milady DeWinter and Athos, but again, if we can't expect people to understand that whole power behind the throne concept, how could we ever expect them to understand (and, more importantly, accept) the level of animosity between those two just based on the notion of her offending the honor of his family name.
I was probably most surprised at the notion of the King and Queen of France actually liking each other, and flirting with the notion of being attracted to each other. But I suppose, in this post-Twilight world, I shouldn't be too terribly surprised at the inclusion of an "angst-ridden teenagers in love" sub-plot.
Lastly, I could express surprise at the notion of the Duke of Buckingham as the Snidely Whiplash sort of villain he's become, but that's probably inevitable, considering the other changes to the story. And besides, Orlando Bloom had such obvious fun playing him so incredibly over the top that you really just have to go along for the ride.
That whole "going along for the ride" idea comes in really handy when we get to the climactic airship battle. I suppose, once you've introduced airships into the Three Musketeers it's inevitable that there must be an airship battle before the end of the film. But when they rocked this one out, and my first thought was of the final battle in Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn, I realized this thing had just jumped the shark, and we're talking great-white-size shark. (I debated for a while if you could use that term in reference to a movie, even going so far as to draft my original post with that question as the central conceit. Then I just decided to hell with it… when I was watching the movie, that was the thought that ran through my head, so I'm sticking with it here.) I mean, they escape certain doom by hiding in a thundercloud, and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat by swooping down on Buckingham's ship from above? You're all with me on this one, right?*
Once I'd recovered from this shock, and settled back into the movie, it moved along to it's eventual climax effectively and, ultimately, I enjoyed it. It's way up there in that guilty pleasure category, and it can't hold a candle to the Lester films (what I like to refer to as "the real Musketeers"). But it was a fun ride, and what more can you ask of a movie like this, right?
*Of course, this could just be my mindset lately, as later that week, while watching Toy Story 3, I realized that there's an homage to the climactic Darth Vader scene in Return of the Jedi (the now infamous "Nooooo!" scene) when Big Baby throws Lotso into the dumpster, and then moments later I got a Fellowship of the Rings flashback when Woody's leg is grabbed by Lotso and he's pulled into that same dumpster. (We're talking Gandalf telling Frodo "Run, you fool" just before the Balrog drags him into the deeps. And yes, I'm well aware of how nerdy THAT particular sentence sounds.) So maybe I'm just in a flashback/homage/whatever-you-want-to-call-it mental mode lately.)
By far my favorite film versions are the Richard Lester ones from the 80's: The Three Musketeers and The Four Musketeers. (Shot together, they were released one year apart.) Funny, a great cast, excellent swashbuckling/swordplay and, by far, the most accurate retelling of the book, it's the gold standard I measure all other Musketeer films against. (I do my best to ignore the egregious Return of the Musketeers… which, despite having the same director, main cast and screenwriter, is nearly unwatchable.)
Recent attempts at this story have not been particularly impressive.
There's what I like to refer to as the Classic Comics version from Disney, which starred Keifer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, Tim Curry, etc. This one wasn't terrible so much as it was... slight. The story had been dumbed down and simplified (hence my reference to the Classics Illustrated comics) and Tim Curry's cardinal was some maniacal villain bent on usurping the Crown. But aside from that it was at least amusing.
Then there was the intriguingly rethought "The Musketeer", which decided to forego the titular 3 in favor of a singular D'artagnan, and a lot of wire-fu action scenes. Probably the most amusing thing about this movie was watching the French musketeer battling Asian "swashbucklers". The least amusing part was probably the fact that, despite the focus on Asian inspired martial arts action scenes, said scenes weren't all that good, and the movie as a whole was pretty forgettable.
Digging through Netflix and IMDB, I also discovered these gems:
Ring of the Musketeers, which stars David Hasselhoff(!) as John Smith D'artagnan and Cheech Marin(!!!) as Burt Aramis; and 3 Musketeers, which brings the titular trio fully into the 21st century with the musketeers an elite NSA team and a female D'artagnan stuck in a desk job till she discovers a plot to… oh hell, I've already lost interest in the plot. Suffice it to say that, while there's a part of me that WANTS to see these train-wrecks, I'm hoping the saner part of my mind will prevail. (All things considered, I probably should mention this one as well. No comment, however.)
All of this, of course, is just my long-winded prequel to my thoughts and reactions to the latest attempt to re-invent the Musketeers for the modern era. (Yes, if you haven't seen the movie yet, and are concerned about keeping an open mind, this would be the time for a SPOILER ALERT… since I'm pretty certain I'm going to end up revealing plot twists and such.)
I greeted the announcement of another musketeers film with cautious enthusiasm.
I recognized the director's name from the Resident Evil films (of which I am among the apparently small number of people who've played, and enjoyed, the games and who also likes the movies). I've enjoyed his work in the past, I really like the cast and Mila Jojovich is easy on the eyes. And it's a Three Musketeers film. I'm in.
Then I saw the first trailers, and realized that this was going to be some kind of Steampunk Musketeers, what with all those airships and flamethrowers and such. So I'm going to brace myself for this one and venture into the movie with a relatively open mind.
This is a good thing, as it helps me accept the dumbing down of the plot. It came as no great surprise that this Richelieu was again looking to usurp the crown… apparently the movie-going public is just not bright enough to get the notion of someone wanting the power without the title, so they had to keep his motives simple. (It's funny, you'd think that, after eight years of Bush/Cheney/Rove we'd have an abundant understanding of that notion. But apparently I'm overestimating the national IQ. Considering the popularity of the Tea Party, "overestimating" might be putting it too mildly).
I was a little more surprised by the relationship between Milady DeWinter and Athos, but again, if we can't expect people to understand that whole power behind the throne concept, how could we ever expect them to understand (and, more importantly, accept) the level of animosity between those two just based on the notion of her offending the honor of his family name.
I was probably most surprised at the notion of the King and Queen of France actually liking each other, and flirting with the notion of being attracted to each other. But I suppose, in this post-Twilight world, I shouldn't be too terribly surprised at the inclusion of an "angst-ridden teenagers in love" sub-plot.
Lastly, I could express surprise at the notion of the Duke of Buckingham as the Snidely Whiplash sort of villain he's become, but that's probably inevitable, considering the other changes to the story. And besides, Orlando Bloom had such obvious fun playing him so incredibly over the top that you really just have to go along for the ride.
That whole "going along for the ride" idea comes in really handy when we get to the climactic airship battle. I suppose, once you've introduced airships into the Three Musketeers it's inevitable that there must be an airship battle before the end of the film. But when they rocked this one out, and my first thought was of the final battle in Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn, I realized this thing had just jumped the shark, and we're talking great-white-size shark. (I debated for a while if you could use that term in reference to a movie, even going so far as to draft my original post with that question as the central conceit. Then I just decided to hell with it… when I was watching the movie, that was the thought that ran through my head, so I'm sticking with it here.) I mean, they escape certain doom by hiding in a thundercloud, and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat by swooping down on Buckingham's ship from above? You're all with me on this one, right?*
Once I'd recovered from this shock, and settled back into the movie, it moved along to it's eventual climax effectively and, ultimately, I enjoyed it. It's way up there in that guilty pleasure category, and it can't hold a candle to the Lester films (what I like to refer to as "the real Musketeers"). But it was a fun ride, and what more can you ask of a movie like this, right?
*Of course, this could just be my mindset lately, as later that week, while watching Toy Story 3, I realized that there's an homage to the climactic Darth Vader scene in Return of the Jedi (the now infamous "Nooooo!" scene) when Big Baby throws Lotso into the dumpster, and then moments later I got a Fellowship of the Rings flashback when Woody's leg is grabbed by Lotso and he's pulled into that same dumpster. (We're talking Gandalf telling Frodo "Run, you fool" just before the Balrog drags him into the deeps. And yes, I'm well aware of how nerdy THAT particular sentence sounds.) So maybe I'm just in a flashback/homage/whatever-you-want-to-call-it mental mode lately.)
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